well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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