I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
