My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
