I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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