i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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