All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
