we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
