i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize