that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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