just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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