Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
