Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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