It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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