wrigley field is MILF paradise
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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