Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
