Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
