Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
