Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
