Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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