curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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