I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
