I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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