My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
