we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
