Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
