Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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