the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
