My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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