ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
