the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
