I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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