based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize