Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
