you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
