Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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