i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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