It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
too bad you live with your parents still
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
