So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
