I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
