Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
