i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
