i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
