so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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