Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
