Sry I called you an 8
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
