she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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