he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We need to rekindle our bromance
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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