I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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