I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
