how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
