I cockslap morals
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
