your parents love me but you hate me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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