I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Randomize
