Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize