Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
