Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize