You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize