He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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